Stars Are Crossed
by blue-eyedinnocent-sinner
Summary: She hadn't seen him in 3 years. Now, engaged, Jude reunites with Tommy. Will the sparks fly? Who will she choose? Based on The Notebook, but different. Please give it a chance, better than it sounds. Takes place after AIWIY. Rated M for a later chapter.
1. Chapter 1 One Word Changes All: Yes!

Stars Are Crossed

Chapter One

One Word Changes All: Yes!

Jude Harrison! That's me! I still cannot believe that my best friend (and boyfriend) Jamie was able to do all of this. We started a new record label after G-Major closed. It's come very far, especially for only almost three years!

Maybe I should explain more closely. You see, after Tommy and I split, I still loved him very much. I hated to see him go. He HAD given me an offer, a month after my eighteenth birthday. He invited me to go with him on his trip. He would be leaving for Thailand just two days after he'd invited me. He was choosing to backpack through Asia, since he'd never had the chance to before, and because it offered him a fresh, new start.

My mind was whirling, especially because now I really had a big problem. Earlier that day, Jamie, who at the time wasn't officially my boyfriend, yet, gave me an offer of a lifetime as well. Him and Paegan were starting their own record label, and Jamie didn't want me to have to give up my career. He offered me the position of first producer.

I had no idea what to do. I turned to Sadie, and even Spied, sorta, but still was lost. After much thought, I decided to stay, but I would wait for Tommy. I loved him; even still, I couldn't help it. I loved him with everything I was, everything I am. I couldn't just up and leave, especially on such short notice, so I would wait until he came home.

Once Tommy left, Jamie, Paegan, Spied, Karma, SME, Mason, Kwest, Sadie, and some newer employees, and myself started to work on JP Records. When (finally) my contract with G-Major finished, I signed with JP as singer/songwriter and producer. My music skills weren't to be shunned, but I did want to help out in the producing department.

We also signed Karma, Spied, SME, Paegan, Mason, and (yep, I was shocked, too) Shay. Since this whole thing with his aunt, and in turn, his manager and uncle, he needed a new manager. Jamie, though not so reluctant as we needed the publicity and money to get started, signed him. Shay was not bothered at all, and we at least agreed to get along. Though we never much talked, we no longer hated each other. I will never to this day forgive him for hurting me, but I've moved on and there's no point in dragging it into the future.

Jamie and I hadn't dated; he respected my decisions and offered to be the best friend any girl could ever ask for. I waited, and waited, and while weeks grew into months, I grew desperate for some kind of contact from Tommy. Each day the sun set into the west, my heart sank lower in my chest. I needed him, and I couldn't stand it.

After about twenty months, and still no contact, I finally started to accept that Tommy wasn't coming home. I couldn't bear the thought, but I knew, deep down, that it was suddenly becoming a reality. I knew that I'd deeply hurt him, and broken his heart, but I felt two things towards that situation. One, he deserved it, after breaking mine so many countless times. And two, I was just scared. What if he'd broken my heart, AGAIN, and it would have been just the two of us, far away from home? I would have been destroyed beyond the point of being able to be repaired.

I never received anything from him. No postcards, no emails, no phone calls, no texts, no letters, and definitely no visits. I haven't heard from or seen Tommy for a month less than three years now, and I've tried hard to not think about him. It gets easier as each day goes by, slowly. But I am happy with Jamie. We started dating after I finally accepted that Tommy wouldn't be coming back to me.

The whole 'not thinking of him' thing works, except in my dreams. He is always there, and I have NO control over that. I can't help it, but I try to tune them out. In the mornings, I fill my mind with other thoughts before I can even begin to think about the dreams. I don't want my past to ruin my future. That's what happened to Tommy, and look what it got him into. I don't ever want that.

Kwest and Sadie are as happy as ever, too. They moved into a cute apartment not too far from the studio about two years ago. I visit them often. They have three bedrooms, so I have my own room. It's like my second home, really. Yes, I am still at home, but I do stay with my sister a lot.

Anyways, back to the now. We are having a rather large party, and for good reason. Or should I say reasons? The whole staff is here, including the media hounding everyone they can. We are celebrating the birth of this place really. We are releasing our first CDs, which make a three-some, and are really bringing JP Records into the lime-light. We are celebrating my third album (with my contract delay, and time to produce, it took this long to finish it, especially without my 'inspiration'), Karma's second album, and Spied's first. Karma and Spied are a little behind since they have their newlyweds show, now in Season Three. Yes, their marriage has lasted, so far. I don't know how, but it's worked; the show and all. But three records are pulling in more than enough money to cover everything we need.

I think there is something else going on though. I really can't imagine what, but everyone is acting off. Sadie seems rather jumpy and excited, my dad will not stop smiling at me, and Jamie seems to be avoiding me. Do they all know something I don't?

I look stunning if I do say so myself. My violet dress, reaching the tips of my knees and added with a thin layer of black lace overtop shows off my curves at the best angles. I have black, strappy, jeweled, open-toed heals, and my golden blonde curls that are bouncing softly create a rather stunning image.

"Congrats, Jude!" I turn to see who called yet another congratulations to me, and see Karma. She's been a lot nicer towards me now that she's like my sister-in-law. Since Spied IS kind of like my brother, it only seemed fit that we behave for his sake. I smile at her, my blue eyes shining.

"Thanks, Karma! Congrats to you, too!" I smile again, hoping I didn't freak her out by going too far. She smiles at me, and, after an awkward silence, she turns and leaves.

I am truly excited, though. My twenty-first birthday is just one week away. I had completely ignored my twentieth; we were so busy at the studio. On my nineteenth, Sadie took me out to a club for some drinks, seeing as it was only fit. But other than that, I had completely shrugged off my 'birthdays'. Sadie and I were sitting on the couch, talking the other day when she brought it up. She asked me if I wanted a party. I glared at her; she stopped abruptly, and never brought it up again. I don't trust birthday parties anymore, and I definitely do not trust being with my boyfriend, if I have one, on my birthday. It only ends in disaster.

I see Jamie walking over to me. He reaches me, kisses me swiftly, and says, "Jude, you look beautiful. Can I talk to you for a minute?" His eyes are glowing, but he seems extremely nervous. My smile quickly fades, but I still follow him. This feels eerily familiar. I glare over at Shay for emphasis, before Jamie closes the door to the empty studio we now stand in.

Jamie is different than Shay was that night. His excitement seems more nerves from just that. Excitement! I kiss him and tell him to tell me what's on his mind. He looks into my eyes and starts, the words coming just above a whisper. "Jude, you know that I love you, right?" His eyes search mine for the truth. I open my mouth to speak.

"Of course, Jamie. I love you too, but what"- He cuts me off with a simple, but firm kiss. When we pull apart, he reaches into his suit pocket, feeling for what he wants. I start to get nervous again, but my curious eyes never leave him. Finally, he pulls out a small, velvet box. Jewelry? Why? My questioning eyes stare into his.

He kneels down, while opening the box and my body freezes. My stomach tightens, my throat closes, and my breath catches there. My whole body is numb, and he clears his throat.

"Jude Elizabeth Harrison, will you spend the rest of your life with me?" My jaw drops slightly, my eyes water, and I can't even speak. I'm breathless, and completely shocked.

Jamie stands up and grabs both my hands with his. "Jude?" He asks, concerned. I close my jaw, my eyes switching from his face to the diamond, white-gold ring. I finally find my voice, though I can't even recognize it. I let out a soft, breathless 'oh my god' before the tears fall onto my face. I look at Jamie's pleading eyes, staring deep into them before speaking.

"What---YES!" I laugh slightly, and Jamie picks me up, spinning us somewhat. Wrapping into his arms, I refuse to let him let me go. He slides the ring onto my finger and kisses me. He sets me down, and after a moment or two, releases me to tell my family and our friends.

I immediately run to find Sadie. She'll be so excited, but somewhat jealous, too. She's still waiting for Kwest to purpose, but what she doesn't know is that he's waiting until Christmas. She hugs me tight, and the rest of the night goes by in a blur. It was full of hugs, kisses, tears, laughs, smiles, and congratulations' before I decide to go home. I'm staying with dad tonight, which is good. If I went to Sadie's place tonight, I'd never get any sleep.

My dad hugs me again; tells me how much he loves me, how proud of me he is, and how happy he is for me. I thank him, but politely excuse myself to bed.

Now, I'm sitting in bed, fiddling with the ring around my finger and staring off into space. I feel strange by the feeling it leaves on my finger. Tears are silently falling off my cheeks. Why am I sad? I should be happy I convince myself. I am happy! I wipe the tears, now frustrated. I'm happy; I love Jamie! And, it won't be with the press just yet. At least, not tomorrow anyways!

I lay back, my head against the white fluffy pillows. I force a smile and reach over to turn out my lamp. I turn over, but I couldn't help but wonder, why? After all this time of blocking off my thoughts of him, of building up those barriers. All I know is that, the moment I said 'yes', I saw Tommy's face appear right in front of me, clear as day.


	2. Chapter 2 I Kept My Promise

Chapter Two

I Kept My Promise

I woke up to the sounds and smells of breakfast. Sadie must have come over, because Dad had already left for work by now. She came upstairs, left me a tray, and told me to get ready. Great! That's her way of saying 'we're going shopping!' She said it was to 'just look' at wedding dresses and designs. God, she's impatient!

I eat, shower, and dress before meeting Sades downstairs. We drive to the mall where nearby is a Vera Wang shop. While we're driving, my mind wanders to the dream I'd had last night. It was more of a flashback…

_(Flashback)_

_"I wanted a small studio, a private studio, somewhere in the mountains, but not too far from here." I gazed at Tommy intently, my crystal-blue eyes full of love. _

_"Yeah, and __who's __in your future?" I gazed at him, a hard, blazing kind of look. He knew I'd emphasized the 'who.' He got a playful look on his face and opened his mouth to reply._

_"Hmm…no clue." I punched him playfully and we laughed slightly. _

_"I want a big house, secluded, but big. I want it white, with a swinging bench, wooden floors, a private balcony…" My ideas continued to flow, as my mind turned new ideas. He looked at me before speaking again. _

_"Okay! We'll do it! Your dream house, our studio-all of it!" I looked into his blue eyes, seeing sincerity. _

_"Really?" He gazed back, his arms tightening around me. I loved the feel of being in his arms. I moved closer, molding my body to his._

_"I promise!" He said to me. We stayed silent for a moment, enjoying being wrapped up in each other's arms. We had created our own private little world. I broke the silence, and almost regretted it._

_"Tommy?" I whispered, my voice so soft I wasn't sure if he'd heard it. "I love you." He smiled; I could feel it since his head was buried into my hair. He inhaled. _

_"I love you, too, Jude. I really do; don't ever forget that." I kissed him, putting as much as I could into that kiss. When we pulled apart, he rested his forehead against mine._

"Jude!" Sadie pulled me out of my flashback. I snapped up and looked at her.

"Sorry, Sades, what?" I asked without too much emotion. I was still clouded with memories.

"Jude, honey, are you okay?" She asked with worry and concern. "You seem dazed.''

"I'm fine." I lied, easily. I even used a phony 'I'm-okay-I'm-positive' voice.

"I guess you're right." She said to me, her eyes never leaving the road. "I mean, you DID get engaged last night!" She had the excited sparkle in her eyes again. She started to babble again, but I tuned her out. I focused my eyes down on the road and saw the white lines, which reminded me of my song, written for Tommy. See, everything I do reminds me of him now.

I did get the chance to not think about him while shopping. We browsed through several dresses, and through photos of the others. I modeled several, Sadie judging, and trying a couple on herself.

We walked out with billions of ideas in our heads, full of wedding. We grabbed slushees and my heart stopped when I saw the headlines of the magazines. It read: 'Ex-Boybander Tommy Quincy Settles Into Private Mountain Studio.' There was a picture of him and… my dream house? I quickly grabbed a copy and found the page.

The article was brief, but enough to know that he'd completed what he'd wanted to. I looked at the picture again. He must have designed it specifically; everything was perfectly what I'd told him. I showed Sadie the article, who mumbled a faint 'oh fritter.' That was the last thing I remember before everything went black.

When I woke up it was dark, and I was in my bed. Well, the bed I used at Sadie's place. I got up and paced, which I usually don't do. Even before concerts, I would deck out with some foosball, but I didn't have that here, so I settled for pacing.

I had to decide something and I couldn't think of what I should do. I decided I would make my choice after a bubble bath. Soak away my problems and worries.

I relaxed in the hot water. Sorta! I kept fidgeting, and messing with the knobs with my feet. Finally, with my empty glass of wine, I got out. I dressed, packed my bag, and put my bag, guitar, and the leather notebook from Tommy in my car.

It was light out now, early, but I knew Jamie would be in the office early this morning. Grabbing my keys off the counter, I walked out to my car. The cool air felt crisp on my porcelain skin, and the soft breezes rustled my hair slightly. I drove to the studio, parked, and walked in.

Not many people were in just yet, but I continued to Jamie's office. I held my head high, determined. I knocked on the door before allowing myself in. He looked up and smiled at his new fiancé. I returned the smile before diving into my much-prepared speech. Or so I thought!

"Jamie, I want to take a vacation before the wedding." He looked slightly taken aback before speaking.

"Um…okay. Where are we going, exactly?" He asked me. I put on a wider smile, hoping to convince him.

"Not 'we', just me." He looked upset, even slightly angry. "Let me explain. It's just; there was something I wanted to do, alone. Look, I"-

He cut me off. "Jude, it's perfectly normal to get cold feet before you get married, but…"

"No! Jamie, it's not that. Not at all, I want to marry you. I stand by what I said last night. I just…wanted to do…something. Please. For me." I played a slight puppy-dog face, which made him smile.

"Okay." I kissed him, then told him not to worry and that I would be back in a couple of days." He told me to call him, which I promised I would. I kissed him again to assure him, told him I loved him, turned, and walked back to my car.

The drive took awhile, but I barely noticed. I was much too distracted by his reaction. I had the directions and the address, and felt pretty confident that I knew where he was. It was outside of town, obviously, near the mountains. Tommy had actually taken me to the site near where he was, once. It was beautiful, and the view left me breathless.

When I found it, I turned onto the mile and a half-long driveway. If you could still call it that! The house really was secluded and set back from civilization. When I pulled around the bend, and actually saw the house, my jaw dropped. It was even more beautiful up close and in person. It was exactly like I'd pictured it, but still better. The house, the scene, the studio-the future with Tommy I'd created in my mind.

I got out of my car, walking ever so slowly up to the house. I was completely awed; I couldn't believe he'd actually done it. I still was afraid of walking up and knocking on the door? What if he wasn't home? Or worse, what if he was? What would he do? I started to head back to my car when a voice spoke.

"I kept my promise." I knew that voice anywhere. That voice made my heart leap so many times. But that seemed so long ago. I turned fast; too fast. When I saw him again, I had the sudden urge to run into his arms and stay there forever. However, I fought the urge. I smiled.

"I see. Tommy, it's beautiful." I said with awe still in my voice. I really didn't know what else to say. But luckily, Tommy always knew what to say and he knew I was unprepared. He always could sense everything about me. He spoke again, more for my benefit.

"You wanna come in and see the rest?" All I could do was nod.


	3. Chapter 3 Reminiscing, Wine, and Dinner

Chapter Three

Reminiscing, Wine, and Dinner

Tommy led me inside, which only made me even more breathless. It was absolutely perfect! The entryway led into the large living room, and onto the dinning room. The polished, wooden floor was smooth underneath my now-bare feet. The furniture was simple, but cozy and comforting.

There was a large, slightly winding staircase made of darkened wooden steps. The railing was a deep wooden color, with the very tip a brilliant white. I could only assume that the bedrooms were upstairs, though I didn't know how many there were.

Every room seemed to have its own unique personality. Even the bathrooms had a sense of luxury. I was simply awed. It was truly better than I'd once pictured.

I followed Tommy to the kitchen, which was, like every other room in the house, amazing. It was large, had a private bar, an island, first-class appliances, and marble countertops. It still had the same gorgeous wooden floor, and I could only assume it was throughout the entire house. Tommy went to work on dinner, while I just stood. I probably looked pretty helpless, standing there just watching him work, my mouth slightly open. I finally spoke, "Tommy, is there anything I can help you with?"

He looked over at me and laughed. "No, that's okay. I want real food tonight!" I glared at him. He chuckled again, which made me laugh. I had to admit, he was right. I couldn't cook worth a damn. And he knew it. That was the sad part. Damn! He knows me too well.

I instead decided to sit at the island and watched him work intently. From the looks of things he was making that French dish, his favorite. I'd never had it and I forgot what it was called, but he'd told me what was in it and I was just guessing.

He looked up at me and smirked when he saw that I was just staring over at him. I blushed and quickly dropped my eyes down to the countertop. I began tracing the designs in the marble, while trying to decide what I should say. I wanted to make conversation, but I knew he was wanting two explanations. I wasn't sure if I really had the answers to either of them. One was why hadn't I gone with him? Why had I broken his heart? The other was why was I here? Why now? Where did I come off coming here? I cleared my throat, but the words simply would not come.

"So? What are you doing here, Jude?" He stopped what he was doing and put his full attention on me. His words made me snap out of my thoughts, and I turned to him. I knew he'd read my mind. He could read me so well; it was scary sometimes.

I spoke, my voice not sounding like my own, "I…just…I wanted to see how you've been. How you're doing." I stated lamely. The words sounded different, unfamiliar. He raised an eyebrow at me, clearly knowing it wasn't the only reason I'd come.

"Jude, c'mon!" He shot at me. "Why? Why now?" I bit my bottom lip and tried again.

"I don't know." I finally whispered. He looked over at me carefully. Suddenly, a bell went off. Saved by the bell! I snapped my head and looked over. It was the timer; apparently dinner was closer to being finished than I'd thought. Tommy moved over and started to put the food on the two plates he'd set out earlier. He walked them over to the dinning room table. He came back and spoke, "It's ready." I started towards the dinning room, but stopped when I noticed I was walking alone. I turned to see Tom moving towards the basement. I followed him down.

It was dimly lit, but I easily found him. "Tommy, what are you-?" I stopped short when I looked around the room. The walls were covered with wooden boxes, turned slightly. He'd made a wine rack, but all around the room. He reached into one and withdrew a bottle. I couldn't see the label, but it looked expensive. He looked at me and smiled. I returned it with a loving look in my eyes. I was grateful that he'd let me stay. I was grateful that he even looked at me. At least he wasn't yelling, and we weren't fighting the whole time.

We returned to the dinning room, and sat across from each other. The lights were off, and it was now late twilight. It was barely light, and the light illuminating from outside was a dark purple from the faded sun, and the faintest trace of stars. Tommy had also lit some candles, and the scene was, overall, very romantic. I fought to think of it like that, though. We started on the meal and, instead of looking at Tommy, I settled on staring intently at my food. I tentatively sipped at the wine, and before long the food was gone.

When we pushed our plates aside, we remained sitting, not bothering to cleanup just yet. Tommy looked at me, his eyes fixated on my beautiful facial features. I knew he was enjoying it. He used to look at 'his angel' and then eventually rest his eyes on my crystal-blue eyes. I, however, would not risk looking into his eyes. I knew I'd never be able to resist him if I did, especially after four glasses of wine.

Truthfully, Tommy and I never slept together, hell Jamie and I still never had, and I remained 'innocent'. But, I knew, before the break-up, we'd desired each other. And not just emotionally or physically, but very much sexually. Working together, day by day, it built the sexual tension, making it stronger the more we worked together. Tommy never knew I'd never done it, thanks to Karma's enlightening statement, but I felt very much experienced when it came to lusting after Tommy Quincy.

Apparently, he'd wanted me just as much. But his next statement still threw me off guard. I knew he wasn't entirely serious, though. He was on his fifth glass, I still on my fourth. He looked at me, with lust-full eyes. I finally looked up at him, still avoiding his eyes. His look made me feel a bit more comfortable, though it shouldn't have. I smirked, and sort of shook my chest, flaunting my 'goodies'. Oh my god! Did I just say that? Oh well, I knew that I was teasing him. He smirked and said, "Don't! I might just have to take advantage of you." He knew he probably could with my alcohol consumption, and I wouldn't stop him. The smirk immediately fell off of my face, and I knew I looked as if he'd reached across the table and slapped me.

"You wouldn't." I stated more than questioned. He shrugged. So, I decided this was the perfect moment to break the news. I held up my left hand, palm facing me, and waved my fingers. The candlelight danced and shone on the diamond around my ring finger. It was his turn now. He looked as if I'd slapped him back. I smirked again, knowing I'd pissed him off. He suddenly looked angry, but it was so brief that I barely saw it. He wiped the look off and 'tried' to look calm. But he couldn't hide from me. I know him too well, better than anyone. Maybe even better than himself. Or as he put it, I 'got him the most', even at sixteen.

I let my hand flop back onto the table. His eyes followed it and fell on my rock. He looked back up and took a sip of his wine. He let a soft 'hmmm' escape his lips. The same lips I'd always loved to kiss; the ones that had made mine tingle, made my body erupt in flames. The same lips that had swept across my cheeks, and neck, several times. The same lips I'd dreamt about in other places, much too inappropriate.

I shook my head to rid my thoughts of what used to be, and what I'd wanted so long ago. He looked at me, now confused, and spoke, "What was that for?" He'd asked curiously.

"Nothing." I muttered. He didn't seem satisfied. So, I decided to change the subject. "So, how did you do this?" I asked, gesturing around the room. He looked up at me, with a serene look.

"I designed it, remembering how you wanted it." He looked at me with sincerity.

"Tommy, that was so long ago…I"- He cut me off.

"Jude, I kept my promise, okay? I told you we'd do it, and I kept my end of the deal." I felt hurt. He'd directed it straight at me and it hit me head on. I decided that two could play at that game. I didn't want to fight, but the man drove me insane. He could piss me off like no other.

"After so long, why now? And how come you never told you were coming home?" I said, glaring at him.

He smiled. "Why? Would you have really cared? Why DO you care?" He'd found it. My sore spot. I stumbled around my words now.

"I…I…Tommy"- He interrupted again.

"You're engaged, remember?" He shot at me. I could feel the tears burning at the back of my eyes, but I would not let them spill over.

"I'm sorry, Tom." I whispered ever so softly; my voice cracking slightly. "I never meant to hurt you." There was an awkward silence. Tommy stood up after awhile. He picked up our plates and I grabbed my empty wine glass. I followed him into the kitchen and we dropped the dishes into the sink. He went back to blow out the candles and came back holding one of his old jackets. I recognized it as the one he's worn on my seventeenth birthday. He handed it to me, as I was freezing. I took it gratefully while muttering, "Thanks." He nodded.

"Come on, I wanna show you something." He said calmly. I followed him, his jacket wrapped tightly around my arms. He led me outside and let me sit on the white, swinging bench. I stretched my legs out on it, while he sat in a matching chair beside me. I didn't notice the notebook in his hands until then. It matched the one he'd given me before. He opened it and handed it to me. I looked down and saw song lyrics; ones he'd written. I scanned the next few pages full of songs. Reading every lyric carefully, I was suddenly inspired. I remembered the notebook he'd given me sitting in my car. All of his songs reminded me of us, and how he felt after our breakup.

I handed it back to him, forcing a smile, while also forcing back the tears threatening to spill again. He took it from me and stood up. I stood, too, before whispering, "Tom, I should go." He nodded, before speaking again.

"Come back tomorrow morning. I wanna show you something. Please?" I said okay and nodded. He looked at me, a special look. One I recognized. It alone, made the tears well up even more and I had to fight extra hard to keep from bursting into tears. It was 'my look'. I hugged him, but turned quickly to go before he could see me cry.

It wasn't until I'd driven away that I'd realized he let me keep the jacket. I snuggled deeper into it, memorizing his smell. I checking into the hotel, a bit fancy, and took my things to my room. It was late, so I unpacked, sort of, and changed into my 'jamies'. I was fiddling with my ring while lying in bed, again. I was still feeling a little fuzzy from the wine. I contemplated on whether or not I should go back tomorrow. I told him I would, but I wasn't sure is it would be the responsible thing to do.

The ring of my cell interrupted the rambling in my brain. I quickly jumped up to grab it. "Hello?" I asked, entirely flustered. The voice on the other end seemed completely calm; the exact opposite of mine.

"Hi!" He said. I was confused.

"Who this?" I asked, questioningly.

"It's Jamie, who were you expecting?" He said. I breathed. GREAT!

"Umm, no one, but hi. It's late, Jamie, why are you calling?" I asked slightly disappointed, and a bit angry. Didn't he trust me? Should he?

His voice sounded a little bit hurt, "I know. I'm sorry. I've been trying to call you all day, but you never answered. Where've you been?" He sounded genuinely concerned now.

Shit! I spoke, "Oh, sorry about that. Just out sight-seeing and such, you know?" Technically, I wasn't lying. That house sure was a sight to see. He seemed satisfied enough. Jamie did trust me; maybe more than he should.

"Okay, well get some sleep. I love you!" He yawned. I giggled, to show some emotion for him.

"Alright, I will. You too!" I flipped it shut, frustrated. Now I really had a problem, and no clue as how to solve it. I decided I would go back tomorrow, but only to end this once and for all. I turned out the light and sat, messing with my ring, in the dark. I leaned back and closed my eyes, but I knew sleep would not come. I thought of Tommy, and my mind went back to the earlier events. Those thoughts led to our older memories…a compilement of our kisses and whispered 'I love yous'. I must have drifted off to sleep. These were dreams and I never wanted to wake up. All I knew was that Tommy would not get out of my head. That reminded me of that Myspace icon Sadie repetitively spoke, 'If you can't get him out of your head, maybe he's supposed to be there." I immediately shook my head to rid that thought. I turned and fell into another restless sleep.


	4. Author's Note

Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star or any of its characters. I also do not own The Notebook, or Sober by Kelly Clarkson used in Chapter Four. Please don't sue me. I'm just having fun with a story, I do, however, own my version of this story. Seriously, people, would I be here if I owned any of the above things? Nope! Didn't think so...thanks...

Hey guys, I just wanted to say thanks for giving my story a shot. I wanna thank those who left me reviews as well. This is my first fanfic, so please help me out here. I will repost more as often as I can. I never realized how complicated it is to post different chapters. Oh well, I love writing and reading, so point out your favorites to me as well. Hope you enjoy this ff. I worked really hard, but I am just trying. Sorry if the chapters are sort of short, they're longer when I wrote them by hand in my notebook! Lol! I did rate this ff M for some sexual content coming up in chapter five. It's very brief, but I rated it M just to be safe. Sorry if the sexual scene is a bit of a let down. I've never really written one of those, but I tried. It's not too graphic. Well, I will try to post more tonight if my hands don't get too tired from typing. Thanks again for reading, and reviewing. You're much appreciated.

Thanks

N


	5. Chapter 4 Sober Flashback

Chapter Four

Sober (Flashback)

I remember my dream. It was more of a memory…a flashback. Tommy left and I was waiting anxiously for a call or his return. Neither ever came…

Three months after he and I still hadn't written a new song. So, three months to the day that he left, I sat in 'the space' with my notebook. I was chewing on the tip of my pen, willing the words to come, but they wouldn't. I stared at the pages for hours, writing little bit by little bit, until I finally had enough lyrics down. I called Spied and we rounded up SME. We worked on the beats and music for a few hours until we had a complete song. When it was perfected, I recorded and by late that night, I had a Single in my hands.

Kyle and Wally went home after we'd finished since it was so late, but Spied stayed to help me pack up. He must have sensed something was wrong; maybe it was the song. Either way he didn't' go home, and I'm almost positive he was still trying to avoid his wife. He asked me if I wanted to talk. I shook it off and told him I was fine. I even made my voice sound cheerful. Too cheerful for late at night. He didn't buy it. I turned to him and calmly said, "he hasn't even called, Spied"-. Before I knew it, I'd burst into tears and Spied had pulled me into a hug. I cried helplessly into his chest, while he mumbled, "It'll be okay, Jude." Somehow, I believed him.

I stood back and wiped the tears away before muttering, "I'm sorry. This is stupid. He's just…just not able to call yet, I mean, he IS backpacking and"- He cut me off, gently.

"Jude, it's okay. You're gonna be okay." He said, trying to calm me down. I nodded.

"Okay…okay! I know…" I whispered and sniffed. I hugged him quickly. I then smiled, and said, "Hey, let's play it." I spoke it shyly. He smiled and put the disc into the stereo. He hit play, and the music filled the room, soft and slow. My lyrics filling the room:

_And I don't know if this could break my heart or save me. Nothin's real until you let go completely. So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving. So here I go with all my fears weighing on me. _

_Three months and I'm still sober. Picked all my weeds, but kept the flowers. But I know it's never really over. _

I looked at Spied, who reassured me when he saw the tears glistening in my eyes again. I smiled to assure him that I was really going to be okay.

_And I don't know, I could crash and burn, but maybe…at the end of this road, I might catch a glimpse of me. So I won't worry 'bout my timing; I wanna get it right. No comparing-second guessing-no not this time…_

_Three months and I'm still breathin'. Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in, but I know, it's never really over…no…._

_Wake…up…_

_Three months and I'm still standin' here…_

_Three months and I'm getting' better, yeah…_

_Three months and I still am…no…_

_Three months and it's still harder now…_

_Three months I've been livin' here without you now…_

_Three months and three months…I…_

_Three months and I'm still breathin'…_

_Three months and I still remember it…_

_Three months and I wake…up…_

_Three months and I'm still sober. Picked all my weeds, but kept the flowers._

The music faded, and a silent tear slid down my cheek. Last time Tommy left me, I had run away and been anything but sober. This time, I had kept the pain bottled inside me. It was killing me, though I'd released some in that song. Spied reassured me one last time for the night. For the first time since Tommy left, I thought about it. Would Tommy even come back home? NO! I wasn't going to think like that! Of course he would come home. One day…

He never did! Well, he did, but it was too late! Why? Why couldn't he have come home when I so desperately needed him? Those thoughts must have been what had woken me up and jarred me out of my memories.


	6. Chapter 5 Stars Are Crossed

Chapter Five

Stars Are Crossed

I was blinking back the sunlight when my cell went off. Again! I sat up and grabbed my phone off of the nightstand. I flipped it open and snapped, "What now?" I was so irritated. Why couldn't Jamie just give me my space?

"Wow! Did I wake, girl?" Tommy's voice cut in from the other side of the phone. My heart skipped a beat, hearing his voice. He even called me 'girl' again. I hadn't heard him do that in years!

"Umm…no, sorry, Tommy! I thought you were Jamie again." My voice was heavy with sleep, but I softened my tone. He laughed at me, knowing I had just woken up.

"And you talk to your fiancé like that?" He questioned me rhetorically, sounding somewhat amused.

"Oh, yeah, all the time!" My voice was thick with sarcasm. "Look, just let me wake up. I'll be over as soon as I can."

"Okay, see you soon, Big Eyes!" He said, his voice softening as well. My heart skipped another beat. Why did he still have that effect on me? He shouldn't, this was wrong. I'm engaged for God's sake! We hung up. I groaned. "GOD!" I yelled to no one, throwing myself back on the bed. What was wrong with me?

I got up, showered, dressed, and swallowed four cups of coffee. Nothing-new there. I headed to the car, packing my guitar and notebook with me. 'Just in case'. I drove to Tommy's and got out of the car, leaving my things inside for now. He was nowhere to be seen. I looked up and felt breathless at the sight once again. It still felt unreal to me. Like a dream…

"Still drooling over a damn house, Jude?" I turned and smiled at him. He looked gorgeous, and I almost had to smack myself to stop staring at him. He walked up to me and grabbed my hands with his own. "C'mon! I have something to show you." He said it ever so quietly. It made me shiver and left my skin tingling. I followed him down a small path, leading deeper into 'nowhere'. He held my hand the whole way, guiding me. I didn't resist, either. I liked the feel of his skin against mine. We finally came to the end of the path, where it stretched into a wide meadow. In the clearing was a small stall. I recognized it as a horses' stall. Sadie and I used to ride all the time as little girls, on our farm. I eventually gave it up, as I got older, while Sadie took it on as a full sport. I uttered a soft gasp when I saw her. A beautiful snow-white mare. Tommy led me to her. "You ready?" He asked me. He knew I used to ride and hadn't in years. I nodded, while he helped me up. He got up in front of me, telling me to hold on. There was a storm coming in and we had to be fast. I wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed, holding on tight.

I don't much remember the ride, except Tommy's smell and fell. I remember the both of us laughing and the wind blowing in our faces, messing up my hair. We'd gone pretty far before the sky started darkening. I heard a soft rumble and knew it was coming. Fast! Tommy turned the mare around, and picked up speed. But we were too far to miss the storm entirely. The rain started falling softly, then gradually, coming down harder. We had no protection and soon started laughing at the cool, refreshing drops of water falling on us. We finally got back to the stalls. I hopped down, while Tommy led her into her stall. With the rain still drenching us, and Tommy looking as gorgeous as he did, I couldn't help feeling angry. I wanted him, but it was too late, and I couldn't have him. I yelled out to him, "Why? Why didn't you ever call me…or…or write me? I waited for you for almost three years now! And now? Now it's too late!" I shouted, and his expression turned fiercer.

"I wrote you." He said sternly. "I couldn't call, but I wrote you; all the time, almost every day. When I didn't get your letters, for about a year, I stopped." I couldn't breathe. I was beyond hurt. I gasped, "What?" He nodded. I couldn't believe it, so I dug in again. "It wasn't over for me, Tommy, I waited, for you. I waited for you to come home. That's all I wanted; was for you to come home and be with me again! I…I"-He cut me off.

"It wasn't over for me either…" The rain was pouring down so hard now; it blurred my vision. I could hardly see Tommy anymore. But maybe that was the tears in my eyes, too. He looked at me with firm look. "Hell, Jude!" I shook my head and started again, repeating myself, but I didn't care anymore. I couldn't believe it, at all! "It wasn't over for me, and now it's too late!" He looked into my eyes, burning them with his own blue ones. My eyes were filling with the warm, salty tears, and I didn't care anymore. I let them fall. He spoke again, this time with power. "It wasn't over for me, hell, it still isn't over!" I opened my mouth in protest, but before I could speak, his mouth captured mine. He caught me. I let him kiss me, and even deepened it. I grabbed his neck with both hands, wrapping my arms around. He picked me up and, with my legs around his waist, he carried me back towards the house. All the while, he never broke the kiss. He opened the door, while I tugged at his shirt, unbuttoning it along the way.

He was carrying me up the stairs by the time I threw it off of him. Running my hands along his bare skin briefly before lifting my arms. He threw my shirt over my head, and God only knows where it landed. We reached his room as he unclasped my bra, it falling to the floor as well. I kicked off my shoes as fast as humanly possible and reached up to him again. Kissing him again, my hands roaming his chest. He was exploring as well. One hand was stroking my now-bare spine, while the other caressed my breast. I touched down, unbuckling his belt and before I knew it, he'd kicked his pants aside. I looked away briefly, seeing our articles of clothing everywhere. He pulled at the hem of my own jeans before pulling them off completely. Tossing them aside, he pushed me back, gently, onto the bed. All the time, we only broke the kiss briefly. He leaned down, placing kisses along my neck, collarbone, shoulders, and stomach. Constantly teasing me, before we lay back onto the bed. My hands held onto him, grabbing his hair and tugging gently. He roamed my navel and laced around the edge of my laced panties. He kept stroking, until I couldn't stand it any longer. I needed to feel him, all of him. I needed to feel that part of him. I broke the kiss, both of us panting and reached down to remove his boxers. His blue eyes bore into mine, seeking permission. I was ready, and he needed to know it. I gazed back intently, saying yes. He pulled my panties of me and threw them to the floor. He reached down and pulled me up. In a sitting position, and while holding me the entire time, he entered me. I gasped in pain and pleasure, loving the mixture of both. The thrusting was slow, yet pleasurable. I moaned softly, while rocking against him. Needing more, I begged him to go faster. He quickened his pace, thrusting in and out.

He moaned a little, while I was gasping and not-quite-screaming. I was over the edge a few thrusts before him, but I'd NEVER done this and never knew the pleasures it offered before. When he climaxed, he stopped and we fell back against the sheets, side by side, panting. I couldn't even think. "Oh my God!" I laughed slightly. "All this time…" I was still trying to bring my breathing back to normal. I snuggled closer to him. While holding me, he still managed to throw the sheet over us to cover our naked bodies. My breathing gradually went back to normal, and Tommy lay there next to me. Centimeters from my own body, he had his arm around me. He stroked my spine, leaving a tingling sensation. It was very comforting. I closed my eyes, and knew he was just smiling and watching me. I smiled, knowing he really did love me. I loved him, and never wanted tonight to end.

I fell asleep, happy and content. I didn't regret what happened. If anything, I was sad it was over, and that it hadn't happened sooner. He held me the whole night. I woke briefly and he smiled down at me. Our skin was glowing in the light of the moon and stars from outside. I smiled back, my brilliant blue eyes shining. He leaned down and oh so softly whispered, "Hi." Just like on my seventeenth, he didn't want to ruin the moment. Neither did I. I smiled wider, knowing I must look pretty lame. I whispered, "Hey," back to him. He sat up and I noticed he'd put on another pair of boxers. He tossed me the shirt he wore earlier today, which I slid on and pulled down. I barely covered my butt, but it didn't matter. He took my hand and led me outside, onto the private balcony. I leaned against the white railing, while Tommy put his arms around me. He was standing behind me, and pressed his almost-bare body against mine. It felt nice, his warmth, especially since it was so chilly out.

We looked up at the sky, and that's when I really noticed the stars. The bright, twinkling dots seemed to be laughing, playfully, like small children. They didn't have a care in the world, but were smiling down at us. Tommy's hand pointed into the sky, "Look!" He whispered into my ear, his breath tickling it. I followed his finger and saw the most beautiful thing, truly. Two shooting stars were blazing across the deep blue, night sky. It was simply breathtaking. It got better! The stars looped around, and crossed each other's paths. He whispered into my ear again, "And so the stars are crossed." I smiled, understanding his double meaning. I turned, and kissed him full on the lips. He returned it, deepening the kiss. We pulled back and rested our foreheads against each other's. I just stood there, happy and content. I never wanted to leave; Tommy didn't ask me to either, so there I stayed. So here I am. Jude Harrison, first ever-Instant Star, engaged, but standing on a beautiful, white balcony, in the arms of my ex-lover and producer. But I was happier than I had been in three years. I never once thought of Jamie; how could I? He never even crossed my mind, at the time.

Tommy carried me back inside. The warm air felt good, coming from the burning embers in the fireplace. He gently laid me down, kissed me, and went downstairs. He was planning on making coffee, knowing me way too well. I lay there wrapped in the sheets, burrowing deeper into his shirt I was wearing. I was smiling like an idiot, but really; how could I not? He came back and, with a smile playing on his lips, handed me a cup. I held it, warming my fingers, while Tommy slid into bed next to me. I leaned my head on his bare chest, and closed my eyes. I hoped this wasn't a dream. Or if it was, I never, ever wanted to wake up.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys, I just wanted to thank you for giving my story a shot. And to those of you who reviewed thanks so much, you're much appreciated. This is my first FF, so please let me know how I can make my writing better. Also, if you were disappointed in my sexual scene, I'm sorry. That was my first try writing one of those, so I tried. Also, I love reading FF's as well, so point out your favorites. I'm really grateful to those who've given my story a shot. I hope you like it, and I will post more as soon as I type it up. I'm actually almost done. Sorry it's so short. I'll start working on others, too, if you're curious. **

**Thanks to you reviewers, you're really appreciated. Please be honest and let me know how I can make my writing better, I will thank you forever.**

**!!!!!Much love from N!!!!!**


	7. Chapter 6 Wake Me From This Dream

Chapter Six

Wake Me From This Dream

The last few days have been mind-blowing. Literally! The mornings are lost, sleeping in. In the afternoons, we spend talking or riding in the meadow. The evenings and nights are filled with whispers and passionate lovemaking. I lost track of how long I'd been here, so I was surprised when I woke up one morning to an empty bed. I wrapped the sheet around my nude body and saw an elegant rose lying next to me. I grabbed it and inhaled, allowing the scent to fill my nostrils. I sat up and saw a note. It told me 'Happy Birthday' and that Tommy had gone to the store, but would be home soon. He also wrote for me to follow the rose petals on the floor. I wrapped the sheet around me like a dress and walked, following the rose petals. Their destination was the private studio. All this time being here and still Tommy had never shown it to me before. I sat down and turned a few knobs, remembering the feel of working at the soundboard. I stared out the thick glass, memories of Tommy and I recording flooding my mind.

A notebook lay on the soundboard. I opened it and there was another small note. Tommy wrote, saying that I should work on some new songs. I smiled and picked up the pen that had been lying next to the notebook. I just started working when I thought I heard a car pull up. I ran down the stairs, to the door, while draping the sheet tighter around me. The doorbell rang and I rushed to meet Tommy. I opened the door, a smile plastered on my face when I was brought face-to-face with none other than…my sister! My smile immediately fell off as I walked out and closed the door behind me. She moved to sit in one of the chairs, while I sat right next to her. She looked at me, and spoke; "I thought that I'd find you here." I averted my eyes. She wasn't yelling or even telling me off, YET! She continued in the same calm tone, "Jamie's on his way here." I shot my head in her direction. Her eyes were filled with sympathy. I opened my mouth, but was stumbling around my words now. "Look…I"- She cut me off. "Jude, don't! Okay? You came here; you knew what you were doing. You knew what would happen!" She stated. That made me angry, "Oh! So now I'm a tramp?" I shook my head, more out of frustration than anger. She paused, and an awkward silence filled the air. She reached into her bag and handed me a stack of letters. I realized they must have been the letters Tommy had told me that he'd written so long ago. She handed them to me, "I kept them, hoping you would move on. I hated seeing you miserable, but it was easier than a messy break, Jude. I hope one day you will understand why I did it." Another awkward silence fell as I took the letters and held them. I was only slightly angry, but I refused to show it.

"Jude?" She finally spoke, and I looked over to her, still at a complete loss. "I know you'll do what's right. I just thought I would warn you." She stood up and hugged me. "I love you, little sis!" And with that, she smiled grimly before turning and walking to her car. She drove away, and I ran inside to quickly get dressed. When I got back down stairs, I sat in my original chair, just as Tommy drove up. He recognized Sadie's car leaving and knew that I was in trouble. He walked up and sat next to me, where my sister had previously sat. He was holding a small bundle of flowers and turned to me. "Interesting morning?" I nodded, still completely lost. I had NO IDEA what to do now. I looked over at Tommy, and couldn't help but smile at him. He had that effect on people. Or maybe it was just me. "I see you got my letters…finally."

"Tommy? Jamie's coming." I stated simply. There were so many things that could mean, but it really was that simple to tell him, though there was nothing SIMPLE about the situation. He sighed and muttered a 'happy birthday' to me. I smile, halfway, before looking away. He sat back, his eyes avoiding me, afraid of my answers. "What are you gonna do, Jude?" He still refused to look, afraid that he shouldn't have asked that; afraid that I would leave him. I shook my head. "I don't know…" I whispered.

He leaned forward, laying his head into his hands. My knees started bobbing up and down. He spoke, his head still down. "So we're back to that?" He raised it and looked over at me, but I avoided his gaze. "Are we back there?" Before I could answer that, he continued. "You know, the past few days…they happened?" He was pleading now, begging me to stay with him. I sighed. "I know that they happened and they were wonderful. But they were also wrong and irresponsible." He jerked back, standing up, and kicking the chair back. The flowers scattering on the ground. I raised my voice to be heard over the noise he'd just made. "I have a fiancé waiting for me at my hotel room who is gonna be crushed when he finds out"- He cut me off, shouting somewhat. "So you sleep with me, and then you go back to your husband? Was that your plan, Jude? To mess with my feelings again? I shook my head again, and stood up. "No…I made a promise to a man; he gave me a ring, and I gave him my word." I shouted, getting angrier. I was more frustrated, especially now that it was time that I couldn't avoid this any longer. I didn't want to fight with Tommy, but he made it hard to just talk. I knew I would be breaking his heart. Again!

He shouted back, never lessoning. "And your word is shot to hell now, don't cha think?" I shook my head, faster. "I…I don't know, I'll find out when I meet him…" He cut me off again. He was no longer shouting, but he definitely put feeling into the next words. "This has nothing to do with keeping your promise and it has nothing to do with following your heart. If you followed your heart, you would have come with me three years ago!" I was speechless, but still found it possible to yell back at him. "Oh, really?" He nodded. "Well…I…I" I screamed, "Oh, I hate you, you smug bastard!" He matched his voice with mine, raising it again, "If you leave here now, I hate you!"

And with that I walked down the steps, towards my car. He followed me and yelled again. "You're bored! You wouldn't be here if there wasn't something missing!" I turned on him and shouted. "How dare you, you arrogant son-of-a-bitch!" He stopped and pleaded while I opened the car door. I threw the notebook and the letters in, realizing that I'd been holding the damn things the entire time. All my other things were still inside, seeing as I never came back to my car. "Will you just stay with me?" I turned and walked towards him. "Stay with you? What for? We're already fighting!" I shot at him, pissed beyond reason. He tried again, hoping to calm me down. "That's what we do. We fight! You tell me when I'm being an arrogant son-of-a-bitch, and I tell you when you're being a pain in the ass! Which you are; ninety-nine percent of the time! I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings, Jude! You have like a two-second rebound and you're in doing the next pain in the ass thing!" He walked over, shut my car door, and stood in front of it, blocking it from me. I stood right in front of him. "So what?" I shot back at him. I was beginning to feel annoyed at him always being right.

He looked at me and inhaled before speaking again. "So…?" I'm not saying it's gonna be easy. It's not! It's gonna be really hard; and we're gonna have to work at it everyday. But I wanna do that, 'cause I want you!" I started to cry, pleading for him to stop. It was hard enough without knowing that he loved me just as strong as before. "I want all of you, forever, you and me, everyday! Would you do something for me? Just…just picture your life, thirty years from now, forty. How do you see your life? If it's with Jamie then go. GO! I lost you once; I think I could do it again. If I thought it's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out"- I interrupted, finally able to speak. My voice broke from my tears, "What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt." He stopped me, frustrated that I was making this so hard, maybe harder than it had to be. "Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Don't think about what I want, what he wants, what your friends and family want…what do you want?" He asked me. It was that simple, but still not. "What do you want?" I shook my head and bit my bottom lip. "It's not that simple"- He cut me off, ignoring me completely. "What do you want? God, damn it, Jude! What do you want?" He grew desperate and frustrated, but I couldn't answer that. I sniffed, "I have to go." His pleading eyes never left, but I swore they threatened to spill tears. He moved, as I wished, and moved away. I walked over and opened my door again before sliding in. I started the car, and pulled out. I threw one last look and saw that he hadn't moved. At least not until after I was gone.

I let the tears fall freely while pulling to the side of the road. I let my head fall and the fresh tears pour. Why? Why was I being put through this? Again! And on my birthday, too! My birthday! I'm twenty-one today. Great! Just great! My song echoes through my mind. It tells of how I'd wanted to be Tommy's only one. I was too young, and he'd told Kwest that he'd be with me in a split-second if I was twenty-one. Now I'm finally twenty-one and I have no idea what to do. I lay my head back against the seat and let my tears stay on my face. They seem frozen, stained, there. I think about what's all happened. I reach over and grab a letter. By the date, it looks like the most recent, probably the last one he wrote. I tore it open and unfolded the piece of paper. I looked down, and though my tears made it blurry, I read the following…

_My dearest Jude, _

_I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore because I know what we had was real; and if in some distant place in the future we see each other and our new lives, I will smile at you with joy and remember how we spent our time together, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more; that plants a fire in our hearts, and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me, and what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you._

_Tommy…_

The tears were falling harder, and my hands were shaking, but I started the car to drive back, slowly to my hotel room. I parked and looked in the rearview mirror. I'm a mess! I reach over and grab a tissue. I wipe away the tears and my smeared makeup. I apply some light makeup, in case of more crying. I grab a hair tie and bring my hair back; brushing through it with the tips of my fingers. My mind is racing, but I gather up the last of my dignity and walk into my room.

**Author's Note: I'm really sorry, guys. I did rewrite this to fit the letters into it. I completely forgot about it before, but I've had a few reminders, thank you. So here it is, rewritten Chapter Six. I'll be posting Chapter Seven soon. I'm really thankful that so many of you like this story. It is my first and I'm really thankful for the readers and especially the reviewers...Thanks guys...please be patient...Chapter Seven is coming...and then all that's left is the Epilogue...YAY! **

**!!!!!N!!!!!!!**


	8. Chapter 7 No Option Gives Me You

Chapter Seven

No Option Gives Me You

I opened the door, and quickly closed it behind me. Jamie, who was sitting on the bed I'd only slept in once, looked up at me with a stern gaze. When he saw me, he clenched his jaw. I knew, he knew exactly where I had been. He was smart, and he knew what I'd done. I sat down next to him, without saying a word, and he didn't face me right away, which made me even uneasier. He did, however, start first, and with a very calm tone. "Jude…what are you going to do?" I sighed. That sounded strangely familiar. I shook my head and Jamie stood up. He was surprisingly calm. "Well, the way I see it, we have three options. One; I could kill him. Two; I could kick the crap out of him." I laughed slightly at that thought. Jamie couldn't take Tommy, at all, but it was funny to envision it. The laugh was so brief, and my eyes were still filled with tears. He continued, "Or, I leave you." I looked at him, and knew that would break his heart. I couldn't bear to hurt him. He looked at me with a loving, yet wounded look. He spoke again, truthfully, "But see, all of that's no good. Jude, no option gives me you." I sighed, and my eyes filled up once again. The tears came and my voice cracked as I spoke, "It's just when I'm with you I feel like one person, and when I'm with Tommy I feel like a completely different person." I looked at him with pleading eyes. He sat back down beside me and wrapped an arm around me assuring. He rubbed my arm gently, before speaking again. "Jude, it's normal, not to forget your first real love, but I want you for myself. I love you." He said, reassuring me again. I started, "I know, I love you, too." I sniffed, wiping away some stray tears. He nodded. "But I shouldn't have to convince my fiancé that she should be with me." He stated solemnly. "No…" I muttered. I cried a little more, but I was so lost in thought. I was remembering myself with Jamie. All of our memories. I then remembered everything, old and recent, I once shared with Tommy.

I shook my head again, so lost, trying to make room for my thought to be sorted out, instead of all jumbled like they were right now. It was like having to choose your favorite candy over your favorite soda. They were two completely different things. Two completely different situations. I tried to picture myself. I knew that whoever I chose, I would probably never hear from the other again. I couldn't imagine being without either of them. After crying softly, Jamie still soothing me, for an hour, I knew what I had to do. I looked Jamie in the eyes, mine still moist. He started back into the deep blue of mine. I kissed him softly on the lips, before pulling back. He understood and nodded.

I'd made my decision. I knew what to do, what I had to do. I inhaled deeply, exhausted, then stood up. I wiped away the last of my tears, and, despite everything, I smiled. I knew what was right.

Fin

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey guys, that's it! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing…those of you who did. You know who you are. Thanks for the advice and the help remembering what I'd forgotten. Sorry it was so short, that's all that I needed for this bit. I do have an Epilogue, though; so don't be too mad at me PLEASE! Anyway…I will try to post it up tonight, if not, you'll just have to suffer until tomorrow…lol. Just kidding…thanks again… I hope you all liked it. **

I do have something bouncing around, though…" (LOL, who said that?) I have some other ideas, for FF's and I will post them, but none are finished, and won't be until I get some reviewers telling me to keep going. So keep an eye out, thanks.

**Love you guys…Thanks for all your support…**

**!!!!!N!!!!!**


	9. Epilogue: Truly Fulfilled 4 Months Later

Epilogue

Truly Fulfilled

Four Months Later

I stared out at the lake, glistening in the distance. The late, setting sun was glowing on the horizon. The wind was blowing softly, allowing a breeze to sweep through the open window, rustling my curled, pinned-up, golden hair. I refocused on the girl staring back at me from the mirror. I looked beautiful, in a flowy, white gown, and a thin veil shielding my face. I turned to my sister, whose eyes looked at me lovingly, brimmed with tears already. She smiled as a tear slid down her cheek. I sensed the pride glowing from her expression. She was so happy for me, but she'd never know how happy I felt. I knew she was also a little sad; her baby sister was all grown up.

"Jude, you look incredible; my personal angel…well, his, actually!" She laughed, slightly. I smiled shyly at her. "Thanks, Sades." I wiped away one of my own stray tears. Carefully, so as not to smear my eye makeup. I reached down and patted my stomach, which would only be getting bigger, soon. I smiled, my life wasn't perfect, but I was content and happy. I thought about my life, and knew I'd made the right choice. It wasn't easy, but it was definitely worth it. I was surprised, but both Jamie and Tommy agreed with my choice; they knew it was what was best. I turned, hugged Sadie, and walked through the door. Making my way out, I looked up at the alter. I gazed lovingly at him, and, when he saw me, he smiled, his eyes never leaving me. I knew I'd made his life. I was his life, his world, and his angel, his everything. As he was for me.

I walked down slowly, making my way to him. After the ceremony, our guests proceeded to the hall for the reception. Slow music filled the room and I danced with my now-husband. He held me close, my head leaning into his chest. I had one hand on his chest and the other wrapped around him. One of his hands rested on mine, my left. His other arm held my body against his. We moved to the beat, swaying gently. I never wanted to leave. He tilted his head somewhat to kiss the top of my head. I closed my eyes, but never moved away from him. He was silent, as was I, not wanting to spoil the moment. We both knew it wouldn't last, with the guests around us, but for now, we stayed in the world we'd created together. Our own personal world. He fiddled with the ring placed on my left hand and I smiled. The music stopped and we looked up. My sister was ushering me to come up and throw the bouquet. I agreed, grudgingly. I made a mental note that I would 'thank' her later. He released me, regrettably, and I moved to the front. I laughed, high with ecstasy and bliss, at the women around me. I swung and tossed it into the 'mob'. I looked over at my man, and, for the first time, I knew, not just hoped, but KNEW that my life was complete. All I needed was him. If I died, my life would be fulfilled. I wasn't supposed to walk this world without him. He really was my soulmate.

Sadie came over to me and hugged me. She pulled back, her hands resting on my bare shoulders. She smiled, the same smile that I wore, mirroring my feelings. She opened her mouth and spoke, "You'll always be my baby sister." I nodded, my smile frozen on my face, and a happy tear slid down my face. "I love you, Sades!" I said. That made her smile bigger, and she replied, "I love you, too, Jude Quincy!" I beamed. My life was truly fulfilled!

**Author's Note: Hey guys! That's a wrap! I hope you liked it, I really tried. It was my first FF and I know lots did like it, but I hope I didn't disappoint anyone! Thanks to the readers, and those of you who review, you know who you are. Hopefully I can post up some other stories soon, thanks for the support!**

**!!!!N!!!!**


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